“Let us use with care those living messengers called words.”
– William Q. Judge
Oprah Winfrey recently devoted a show to rudeness in contemporary society. Among her guests was Dr. P. M. Forni, the author of the book, Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct. Dr. Forni is a professor of Italian Literature at Johns Hopkins University in Maryland and the co-founder and co-director of the Johns Hopkins Civility Project.
Dr. Forni makes several interesting points about the nature of civility, politeness and good manners in his book, a distillation of ideas on this topic that have been espoused throughout the ages. He looks at the root of the word “civil”—civitas– and notices that it is also the root of the word “civilization.” Thus “choosing civility means choosing the right thing to do for others – for the ‘city.’”
While Theosophy suggests that the root of “manners” is from the root “manas (Sanskrit, literally means ““the mind”), the mental faculty which makes of man an intelligent and moral being, and distinguishes him from the mere animal…
(H.P. Blavatsky, Theosophical Glossary)
P. M. Forni
Thus manners are the actions of a thinking being. Dr. Forni goes on to suggest that good manners, far from being the road to hypocrisy are, in fact, the “first steps of the soul toward love.” By choosing to act with good manners, we learn how to train our instrument, the body, and its attendant nature. We pay attention to the words we use and the ways we act, assuming responsibility for our own behavior whatever the circumstances. This, in turn, fosters the ability to pay attention to the needs of others, one of the distinguishing characteristics of love.
Chapter 12 of his book is titled, “Be Agreeable.” In it, Dr. Forni says:
“One of the most important things you can do to improve your relationships–both in your private life and at work–is listen to agree. Again, I am not saying that you have to agree with whatever is being said (see the rule “Assert Yourself”). Rather, I am encouraging you to look for possibilities of agreement.”
This reminds me of Robert Crosbie’s admonition:
“[T]here has to be first sought points of agreement….” This sets up a current of thought in a direction of unity and is one of the keys to practicing the ideal of universal brotherhood.
R. Anon
♥
Meditate on the words of the Buddha…
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought: all that we are is founded on our thoughts and formed of our thoughts. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought happiness pursue him like his own shadow that never leaves him.” –Dhammapada
