“Let us use with care those living messengers called words.”
– William Q. Judge
Oprah Winfrey recently devoted a show to rudeness in contemporary society. Among her guests was Dr. P. M. Forni, the author of the book, Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct. Dr. Forni is a professor of Italian Literature at Johns Hopkins University in Maryland and the co-founder and co-director of the Johns Hopkins Civility Project.
Dr. Forni makes several interesting points about the nature of civility, politeness and good manners in his book, a distillation of ideas on this topic that have been espoused throughout the ages. He looks at the root of the word “civil”—civitas– and notices that it is also the root of the word “civilization.” Thus “choosing civility means choosing the right thing to do for others – for the ‘city.’”
While Theosophy suggests that the root of “manners” is from the root “manas (Sanskrit, literally means ““the mind”), the mental faculty which makes of man an intelligent and moral being, and distinguishes him from the mere animal…
(H.P. Blavatsky, Theosophical Glossary)
P. M. Forni
Thus manners are the actions of a thinking being. Dr. Forni goes on to suggest that good manners, far from being the road to hypocrisy are, in fact, the “first steps of the soul toward love.” By choosing to act with good manners, we learn how to train our instrument, the body, and its attendant nature. We pay attention to the words we use and the ways we act, assuming responsibility for our own behavior whatever the circumstances. This, in turn, fosters the ability to pay attention to the needs of others, one of the distinguishing characteristics of love.
Chapter 12 of his book is titled, “Be Agreeable.” In it, Dr. Forni says:
“One of the most important things you can do to improve your relationships–both in your private life and at work–is listen to agree. Again, I am not saying that you have to agree with whatever is being said (see the rule “Assert Yourself”). Rather, I am encouraging you to look for possibilities of agreement.”
This reminds me of Robert Crosbie’s admonition:
“[T]here has to be first sought points of agreement….” This sets up a current of thought in a direction of unity and is one of the keys to practicing the ideal of universal brotherhood.
R. Anon
♥
Meditate on the words of the Buddha…
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought: all that we are is founded on our thoughts and formed of our thoughts. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought happiness pursue him like his own shadow that never leaves him.” –Dhammapada
[...] I recently found out there is a new theosophical blog: ‘theosophy watch’. One of it’s best posts so far is on a topic that unfortunately theosophists need a lot of reminding on: Choosing Civility [...]
H. P. Blavatsky, in The Key To Theosophy, makes the following cogent comment:
“In the present state of society, especially in so-called civilized countries, we are continually brought face to face with the fact that large numbers of people are suffering from misery, poverty, and disease.
“Their physical condition is wretched, and their mental and spiritual faculties are often almost dormant. On the other hand, many persons at the opposite end of the social scale are leading lives of careless indifference, material luxury, and selfish indulgence.
“Neither of these forms of existence is mere chance. Both are the effects of the conditions which surround those who are subject to them, and the neglect of social duty on the one side is most closely connected with the stunted and arrested development on the other.
“In sociology, as in all branches of true science, the law of universal causation holds good. But this causation necessarily implies, as its logical outcome, that human solidarity on which Theosophy so strongly insists.
“If the action of one reacts on the lives of all, and this is the true scientific idea, then it is only by all men becoming brothers and all women sisters, and by all practicing in their daily lives true brotherhood and true sisterhood, that the real human solidarity, which lies at the root of the elevation of the race, can ever be attained.
“It is this action and interaction, this true brotherhood and sisterhood, in which each shall live for all and all for each, which is one of the fundamental Theosophical principles that every Theosophist should be bound, not only to teach, but to carry out in his or her individual life.”
http://www.theosociety.org/pasadena/key/key-12.htm
I totally agree. No need to disagree in unkind ways – and yes, if we want to practice brotherhood, we should always be on the lookout for things we DO agree on. Especially in times when it seems there is no agreement to be found at all.